PARENTS AND CHILDREN: WHEN the WISDOM AND the YOUTH TOGETHER or the ABILITY TO GIVE AND ACCEPT The SUPPORT (The Essay)

 First your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life
Chuck Palahniuk, writer

From the first heartbeat in the most miracle place of woman’s body, breath outside and meet with this huge, wonderful, but frequently cruel and unfair world, from the first step and first unintentional falling to earth… Two people, who have become for their «gift of love» not only man and woman called «mother» and «father» or whose persons, who will buy toys, clothes, give the allowance, go for walking or play in sport games with son or daughter, when children wish it. From our first achievement, shy sympathy and professional choice they will be our life-teachers, give the value lessons, help us to move in right and safe direction… 

They will give us the ability to keep secrets, deal our feeling with people really worth to know about us more, then other, and inculcate in us moral and soul bases of life, which will be educate in our mind and thinking the most important values of our behavior and actions…We will always think about them, when will be away from home or take important decision, which really can change our life. There are our parents, our angels-keeper: here, on the earth…

 Mother meets with her daughter after military service 

in Iraq

But nowadays, despite of the modernization process, the development of different industrial and professional areas, close connect of person with different technological gadgets, the layer of relationships between parents and children lose the main ideas and purposes. The necessity to be busy, work and pay money for living lead to decrease of attention from the side of parents to their children and create all conditions to lose a control and urgent influence to them. It causes negative results: children want to be more independent and lead prohibit things for themselves. Unfortunately, because of communicative insufficiency, discuss important and «adult themes», apathy to studying and professional development of children, especially teenagers (it is well-known «transitional age») from parents children can fall under escaping from home, spending their time with rude companies, commit crimes and bring to justice. Behavior like this can put a negative mark on child psychic, that is why parents must find a time for telling, dedicated of discuss the process of person’s increase from moral, soul and physical aspects. 

It is really great, when small children, teenagers and adult students or even people, who have achieved success in their life yet, have parents, who always try to support them in different situations, give a well-aimed advice. But it is very important from the side of parents to believe their children, because excessive attention and care can lead a child to indifferent, apathy and lazy mode of life, when mother and father will decide all problems for them and direct son or daughter in the way they like.

But there are prevalent causes, when children strongly refuse from the help of parents and demonstrate rebellious features in their character: shout at them, don’t do household duties, treat with contempt to other members of family. And results of this behavior are common with situation above, when parents don’t dedicate enough time for telling with their children.

There are different decisions of these situations. 

But, to my mind, the most important is to learn accept and be thankful for necessity help from our parents. We must understand, that we hadn’t will been ourselves – with our skills, ideas, views and mistakes, our wishes and aimes, our character and attitude to life and other people – without them. Rightly said a writer Brad Meltzer in him book «The Inner Circle»:  «No matter how far we come, our parents are always in us». Appreciate them!

Yuliya Devda